Dinner for Eight


Sea bass, just baked, with a light parsley sauce

Home-made summer pudding – in season, of course

Plenty of fizz, some red and some white

Light background music to play on the night

And here they all come, freshly showered and dressed well

Red necklace with black, lacy blouses, the smell

Of laundry and perfume, of one glass of gin

And tonic, partaken before getting in

The taxi to take them to where they will dine,

They come bearing flowers, chocolates and wine.

The room is now full of opinions and tales

Of work issues, people and all the details

Of this and of that, and where did you buy

Your dress – it’s so gorgeous, and wondering why

Other people can’t see things the way that we do

Young people today, and politics too

More wine? Yes, how lovely – I mustn’t get pissed

This food is delightful – I’m sorry I missed

The so-and-so’s party – did it all go ok?

Don’t like her so much, and HE, well they say

He’s hopeless at work – he might get the boot

He’ll never get on – he won’t wear a suit!

It’s just so important – oh yes please, some red

I find too much white just goes straight to my head.

This pudding is fabulous– home made as well!

My goodness, how marvellous, how could you tell

How much sauce to put in – it’s awfully good

(The bread must be red when one makes summer pud) 

Where were we?  Oh, yes, I was challenging you

I simply do not approve of your view

I’m affronted that you do not see it my way

Bla bla this bla bla that, at the end of the day

I know best, I’m quite sure, and I’m going to win

I’m an ‘ologist’, darling, and I’m mixing in

The right circles, and I know what’s right and what’s not

Put some ice in my white wine, it’s hitting the spot.

How loud should I shout to make you give in?

How much does it take to ensure that I win?

Will you stop coming back with your own bloody views

You simply are wrong – I’ll make sure that you lose

This debate – don’t know why, need a swig of my wine

By the way – love your shoes – they are simply divine.

Anyway – if you don’t do what I tell you to

The world will explode, it’ll be cos of you

Don’t you think, everybody?  Don’t you all agree?

Will someone defeat him, please – do it for me!

Look buster, your argument is fucking shite

I’m not talking to you – it’s him, on my right –

Give me one fucking reason for holding your view

Hurry up, come on, tell me, I’m looking at YOU –

Go on, mate, I’m waiting – spit it out, hurry up

(While you’re up pop a whiskey in my coffee cup)

The finger is pointing, the face it is set

The host is now reeling, inclined to forget

What he thinks and believes, in the heat of it all

He takes just a moment away, in the hall.

He’s trying to be the congenial host

But wanting to hit him with a metal post

(Like the teacher – such stress – no wonder he broke) 

This evening is some kind of hideous joke

 ‘I’ll be Frank, mate, you haven’t responded at all’

Which just proves my poin– you’re saying fuck all

And the women are nodding with all of their might

We agree, pass the red – we have drunk all the white.

A hideous interlude, then to the door

‘Good bye – it was lovely – we’ll do it some more!’

The next day some texts – what a FABULOUS meal

With thanks, all quite lovely – I must say I feel

A bit ragged today – anyway, lots to do

Some shopping – new suit – then for cocktails – see you!


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