The Thin Thing

Today I’m tired and want to cry
And there are several reasons why
I’ve pumped, I’ve jumped, I’ve lifted weight
I’ve kept a log of what I ate
For breakfast, lunch and dinner too
I’ve read the books and what to do
And here I am, and this is me
And I don’t like the thing I see
Still old and plump and nothing much
I wonder why I’m making such
An effort, when the plain fact is
That nothing’s changed, despite all this.
My eyes are red from crying now
I just can’t seem to work out how
To make it happen – make me be
The woman that I want to see.
Well fuck it all. That’s how I feel
Perhaps I need to just get real
Accept that I can’t be the way
I want, and just live every day.
I’d like to eat ice-cream until
I made myself completely ill
I’d like to drown in chocolate sauce
I’d like to eat a bloody horse.
I might as well – I’m still dead fat
I’m tired of trying, hoping that
Tomorrow I’ll be small and fit
I know I won’t – I’ll look like shit.

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