Corporate Strategy Team

We’re called the corporate strategy team

We’ve lots of work to do

We sit in an open-plan officey-thing

With a kitchenette – meeting room too.

 

The boss has just gone to buy some more mugs

For the kitchenette area here

She’ll be gone quite a while – it’s a very long way,

She says – where they are not quite so dear.

 

When she goes we turn all the lights on and off

Very fast, and we disco dance too

And after a while we sit down at our desks

There’s plenty of work we should do

 

As a bit of a laugh Tom picks up his ruler

And waves it around overhead

He says he’s a Jedi Knight, so watch out,

If we put a foot wrong, we’ll be dead.

 

Ann’s on the phone now – an order, I think

She’s found something nice she will buy

From a catalogue, under her desk until now.

Her bottles and soaps must keep dry

 

In a shower tidy, for her bathroom at home

She shows Jane the picture of it.

Jane asks for the catalogue, choosing as well

And they chat about shops, for a bit.

 

David wanders around, with some papers he holds

And asks about team meeting dates

Barry swivels his chair, and rolls up his eyes

And tells him that that’s what he hates

 

About work, all the meetings that get in the way

Of just getting on with your job

Then he offers to go and get sushi and drinks

From the shop – can he have a few bob?

 

Sarah’s trying the tan cream she’s bought, on her legs

And she’s making a terrible mess

She’s dropped some on her documents, and on her files

But luckily none on her dress.

 

The clock ticks, and the air con is making a noise

And the traffic is heavy today

I swivel my chair and turn and just stare

At the people out there, on their way

 

Here and there, to and fro – I wonder if that’s

Who I think it is, walking alone

If it’s not, it reminds me of her, she’s a laugh

I reckon I’ll give her a phone

 

A bit of a chat, but I keep my voice low

And arrange a lunch sometime quite soon

I can wangle a long lunch, get back here at two

If I meet her precisely at noon.

 

God it’s boring here, moving the papers around

Still, some sushi will go down a treat

Think I’ll borrow the catalogue, have a flick through

The thing that Ann bought is quite sweet.

 

Tom is surfing the net – he thinks that I don’t know

That he’s booking his next summer break

David’s talking dead loud, on the phone, and Jane tells

Him ‘shut up – you’re keeping me awake!’

 

Sue is copying stuff, on the copy machine

It’s definitely personal stuff

Whenever we do that the paper runs out

The machine doesn’t hold quite enough

 

The open plan officey door opens now

And we all do our gravitas faces

And click on our mice, and stare at our screens

And bend down and poke in our brief cases

 

It’s the big boss, who’s come to see our boss, who’s gone

To buy mugs in the cheap shop somewhere

We tell him she’s gone to a meeting, we think

But she shouldn’t be much longer there

 

He says ‘fine’, he was passing and thought he’d pop in

Just to ‘touch base’ and that sort of thing

He’s got to go now, though – and are we alright?

Good – just tell her he’ll give her a ring.

 

When he goes we turn all the lights on and off

Very fast, and we disco dance too

And after a while we sit down at our desks

There’s plenty of work we should do

 

We’re the corporate strategy team, don’t ya know

We’re busy as busy can be

But when the boss gets back again with our mugs

We’ll take a break – nice cup of tea.